Going Home

I've just opened a couple of presentations I did at ex-company to obtain the charting templates. Looking at the slides, many of which reflecting the effort, blood and sweat I poured into the work, I felt an immense sense of nostalgia. Despite leaving, is that where I was meant to be anyway?

Coincidentally, at the same time, I chanced upon H's picture in a mutual friend's blog. 내 마음 정말 아파요. 영원히 잠들고 싶어요.

I want to go home. I miss that feeling of belonging to some people, places, and of knowing my position in the world. I miss the comfort and peace of familiarity. I'm so incredibly tired that I only know how to let go, instead of trying to find solutions to the problems and challenges placed in front of me.

But many of life's decisions have lasting impacts that irreversibly change the circumstances and situations beyond looking back. In God's ways, the intricate web of cause and consequence can never be dissected, making me realize that perhaps, our paths and fates were predestined to begin with.

I never thought I was one to ever regret, yet I can only continue to move forward, even without my own volition.