Trust That Lacks Faith

Exacerbated by an already tiring week, a catalyst made one of our longstanding issues flare up. I was upset, in the way that only I could cause myself to be, emotion building upon itself into a crescendo.

"If you trust me..." He said.

I thought long and hard about that word -- trust -- symbolizing one of the key tenets of a healthy relationship. Was the problem about lacking it?

But it didn't feel right, and yet it didn't feel completely wrong either. In the end, it dawned on me. The emotion I was searching for was faith. That was what I lacked.

As the thought process unfolded, I realized that those two "security blankets" in a relationship, so to speak, were still related. No doubt. But they also differed to me, in the way that trust is externally-driven while faith seems more internal. That faith is not about him but about myself. That it's not about now but the future that I lack faith in.

Had my courage caused me to be so vulnerable, that I ultimately lost faith even in myself?

This relationship is more than ready for Stage Two, so if you're thinking of taking that giant leap toward intimacy, don't hesitate. You can do it now, and rest assured that it will all work out quite well. If this someone is taken, however, you might want to cool your heels and do not pass Go. There's no reason to share affections with anyone. You're loving, compassionate and more than worth the effort it takes to have you. Say that, and say it firmly -- to them, but also to yourself.