Old Friends

I met a close old friend last night for dinner. The last time we saw each other was back in September, and we have hardly been in touch since then. She was abashed to know that she missed being there for me while my mom was undergoing her cancer treatment, when I had my disastrous 30th birthday (she forgot about it), when the Boy and I were scrambling to get his dad checked out for cancer.

Yup it's been a pretty tumultuous 6 months.

I'm not sure if I blamed her for being so absent. I guess on some level, I did, but not now anymore. As part of my 2011 solutions, my philosophy is that it's just too tiring to harbor unhappiness for an extended period of time, so I try to let go.

I spoke to the Boy about my friends before, and he thinks I shouldn't expect so much from them, because we have come to a stage where our other halves and/or families form the center of our lives.

I do also wonder if I have the responsibility to keep my friends updated, even if they have not taken the initiative to keep in contact. It takes two hands to clap, right? The problem is, I've got a pretty stubborn hand, which means it's not really in my nature to share and impose on others, even if I do think of them often.

I'm kind of like a snail in its shell, or a clam. Hard to draw out. :)