Nothing quite makes a person appreciate life more than being reminded of one's mortality.
There were several signs which triggered me to write how I felt, after almost a year of hiatus.
The first sign
A couple of days back, I bugged my mom again about her preference for holding the tea ceremony at my solemnization. Since the boy and I were likely to be in Shanghai for the next few years, we weren't sure if we were going to have a wedding bash after the solemnization. No wedding bash = no tea ceremony, which Mom clearly cared about.
Her final decision, however, was quite different from what I was expecting. "Your brother reminded me about his Japanese teacher. Tan Sensei pushed back her plans to have children, so that she and her husband could first achieve other goals in life. But life never goes according to plans. Before she could move on to the next stage of being a mother, cancer struck."
"Even if both of you decide not to have a wedding banquet, it is fine with me. If you want to have kids without first holding the banquet, it is also okay with me. I would rather that you move ahead with life than to delay things because who knows what might happen next?"
The second sign
I got to know that a friend's friend had passed away recently from lung cancer. She was 32, just a year older than me. While I didn't know her personally, it was scary to realise how she could have been me. Me with the weak health, coughing on and off, asthma, allergic rhinitis and gastric problem.
I don't consider myself young, but I was certainly acting as though I was still invincible.
Giving thanks to 2012
On hindsight, I have many things to be grateful for. 2012 was a busy busy year, but there has also been a sense of accomplishment. I changed jobs, found a house that the boy and I could build a home out of, helped the boy relocate to Shanghai, renovated our place, planned a solemnization, and traveled to Bali with the boy, Seoul for work (x3) and Bangkok with the girls. I also managed to bring mom on a quasi-holiday.
Looking towards 2013
If anything, the coming year is likely to open with a bang, given the solemnization in January. But more importantly, amidst the usual busyness, it should hopefully be also about re-centering on the things that really matter: health, people I love, happiness.
Next up: Definitely a consideration of my goals for 2013.
December 19, 2012
February 8, 2012
美冬 チョコレート
In my last winter holidays, I got this from the Ishiya Factory in Sapporo that manufactures 白い恋人. Having tasted quite a wide variety of chocolates all over the world, I was somewhat of a chocolate snob and I wasn't too impressed with this selection in the beginning.
But when I opened the box and saw the selection, I knew I was in for a treat. There are three kinds of chocolate wafers - black chocolate with blueberry, milk chocolate with caramel and white chocolate with melon. Don't they already sound exquisite? Bearing in mind that Hokkaido is a food paradise rich in high-quality milk products.
I'll post a review once I've tried all three flavours. :)
January 29, 2012
2012 Resolutions
I'm almost a month late, but better late than never. Looking back at last year's resolutions, I have to guiltily admit that I can hardly recall the goals I previously set for myself.
- Eat more fruits - Still too little to feel healthy
- Drink more water - Yes!
- Sleep earlier - Getting better but still some way to go
- Be more physically active - Totally missed target
- Be more efficient - Ditto
- Learn to let go more - Hmm only if I did not have a choice, which is probably not a good thing
- Learn to cook! - Sigh
This year's resolutions will hopefully be more SMART - specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, time-based.
- Climb Mt Kinabalu (which indirectly contributes to the exercise objective since I need to train)
- Get a house
- Get a new job or go back to study
- Go on a holiday with mom
- Sleep before 1am every night
- Brush up my diving skills
- Make it a point to lunch out at least twice a week
- Be less of a bitch (ie. be a nicer person)
August 22, 2011
Forgiveness
So I got into a car accident.
I sent him to the airport earlier for his Bangkok secondment, and was quite distracted throughout. I was thinking about how strange the vibes between us were. But that's another topic in itself. As I drove his car back, I decided to take it for a wash, since I was tasked to do so.
I wasn't paying attention, and I ended up "kissing" someone else's backside and ALSO cracking his bodykit.
The sense of doom was imminent before I even got off the car. I was at a loss on what to do, but I didn't panic, get upset or break down. I guess that's the benefit of being older. My first thought was: "He's going to kill me." It was his beloved car.
I had to call him for an action plan, but he was already boarding the flight. "Call your dad to go over," he said. "Call YH. He'll tell you what to do."
After the dust settled, I waited his flight to land, and for his anger to erupt all over me. After all, he would have had 2 hours and 30 minutes onboard to stew over my carelessness.
He didn't contact me after he got into Bangkok. He called YH instead, and asked how bad the damage was. YH said he sounded quite angry. I thought: "He must be, since the cold treatment has kicked in."
I think this qualifies as the 2nd worst day of 2011, after my horrendous birthday non-celebration.
But when he finally replied to my texts, this was what he said:
"I am not angry w u"
"Just reached hotel"
That's when I finally broke down.
It was gratitude, relief, amazement and guilt all rolled together. Gratitude because he wasn't going to make me feel worse than I already felt. Relief because I was expecting all hell to break loose, but it didn't. Amazement because I didn't for once imagine he would have responded the way he did. And guilt because I thought worse of him than he really was.
Forgiveness is a very powerful and precious gift.
I sent him to the airport earlier for his Bangkok secondment, and was quite distracted throughout. I was thinking about how strange the vibes between us were. But that's another topic in itself. As I drove his car back, I decided to take it for a wash, since I was tasked to do so.
I wasn't paying attention, and I ended up "kissing" someone else's backside and ALSO cracking his bodykit.
The sense of doom was imminent before I even got off the car. I was at a loss on what to do, but I didn't panic, get upset or break down. I guess that's the benefit of being older. My first thought was: "He's going to kill me." It was his beloved car.
I had to call him for an action plan, but he was already boarding the flight. "Call your dad to go over," he said. "Call YH. He'll tell you what to do."
After the dust settled, I waited his flight to land, and for his anger to erupt all over me. After all, he would have had 2 hours and 30 minutes onboard to stew over my carelessness.
He didn't contact me after he got into Bangkok. He called YH instead, and asked how bad the damage was. YH said he sounded quite angry. I thought: "He must be, since the cold treatment has kicked in."
I think this qualifies as the 2nd worst day of 2011, after my horrendous birthday non-celebration.
But when he finally replied to my texts, this was what he said:
"I am not angry w u"
"Just reached hotel"
That's when I finally broke down.
It was gratitude, relief, amazement and guilt all rolled together. Gratitude because he wasn't going to make me feel worse than I already felt. Relief because I was expecting all hell to break loose, but it didn't. Amazement because I didn't for once imagine he would have responded the way he did. And guilt because I thought worse of him than he really was.
Forgiveness is a very powerful and precious gift.
August 10, 2011
Fuzzy Feeling
Silly of me but that's how I felt after this chat:
It reminded of all the good old times we went shopping and fawned over frivolous things such as clothes, accessories and shoes. Of course we are not as carefree as before, but for a while, the nostalgia was a sweet reminder of the simpler pleasures of life.
August 9, 2011
July
July was a bit of an odd month, busy with short travels but also quite alone since the Boy was seconded to Bangkok for a few weeks.
I spent the first week in Bangkok shopping, eating and working together with the Boy. There were two highlights during the trip. One was spent watching Just Go With It in bed and chomping on potato chips, only for the Boy to splay tea all over during a particularly funny scene. I have not laughed so hard for a long long time. Another was when I was heading back to Singapore, and the Boy accompanied me all the way on the airport on the train. It isn't a big gesture, but it meant a lot to me.
Funny how things have changed. A couple of years back, shopping would have been the highlight of my Bangkok trip. But this trip is remembered for the time with him and other Bangkok friends.
The following weekend was spent in Langkawi. Another great holiday filled with nice memories of the private Datai Bay, the Andaman resort screening movies by the beach, watching the sunset on the peaks of Mt Mat Cincang and Gunung Raya, etc. I would love to go back again.
In between, I also managed to catch a few reads:
Nobody Said It Would Be Easy by Marilyn Halvorson
Room by Emma Donoghue
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot
Songs Of The Humpback Whale by Jodi Picoult
Nobody is an old well-loved book I managed to source from Amazon. Room and Henrietta Lacks are recent and also particularly impressive to me. Go read both if you can.
I spent the first week in Bangkok shopping, eating and working together with the Boy. There were two highlights during the trip. One was spent watching Just Go With It in bed and chomping on potato chips, only for the Boy to splay tea all over during a particularly funny scene. I have not laughed so hard for a long long time. Another was when I was heading back to Singapore, and the Boy accompanied me all the way on the airport on the train. It isn't a big gesture, but it meant a lot to me.
Funny how things have changed. A couple of years back, shopping would have been the highlight of my Bangkok trip. But this trip is remembered for the time with him and other Bangkok friends.
The following weekend was spent in Langkawi. Another great holiday filled with nice memories of the private Datai Bay, the Andaman resort screening movies by the beach, watching the sunset on the peaks of Mt Mat Cincang and Gunung Raya, etc. I would love to go back again.
In between, I also managed to catch a few reads:
Nobody Said It Would Be Easy by Marilyn Halvorson
Room by Emma Donoghue
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot
Songs Of The Humpback Whale by Jodi Picoult
Nobody is an old well-loved book I managed to source from Amazon. Room and Henrietta Lacks are recent and also particularly impressive to me. Go read both if you can.
July 29, 2011
Servant Leadership
It's been a long while since the last post and as usual, things have been hectic and eventful. For some reason, it always is like this for me.
But anyway.
Rather than updating about my personal life, I came across the concept of servant leadership, and that is what prompted this post (besides the fact that I'm finally able to take a slight breather tonight).
While I wouldn't say that I have worked in many organizations across different verticals, the turnover in my industry is high enough for me to say that I have seen my fair share of leaders with different management styles.
Some are hierarchical, others quite laissez faire; some very business-like and transactional, others personal and emotional. I have also seen politically-driven leaders, domineering leaders, charismatic leaders and so on. Among these, some are open while others believe in the compartmentalization of information.
But I have never once met a servant leader.
According to Wikipedia, these leaders "achieve results for their organizations by giving priority attention to the needs of their colleagues and those they serve. Servant-leaders are often seen as humble stewards of their organization's resources."
I found out about this concept by chance, after sneaking looks at my brother's computer as he watched Joel Manby of Hershend Family Entertainment on Undercover Boss.
Whether or not this is or should be the ideal type of leadership, is ultimately dependent on the culture and objectives of the company. Of course the judgment is subjective. But quite honestly, I was blown away by what I viewed. I couldn't believe there existed work environments that were so driven by the welfare of its people. (Ok maybe it's all staged, like in other reality TV shows.)
Maybe it's the American culture that fosters such leaders, and I'm saying this because Joel's style is really not that much different from Tony Hsieh of Zappos (whose Delivering Happiness book I read). Maybe Asian work environments are simply more focused on immediate bottomlines. Or perhaps these corporate differences are manifestations of welfare states versus non-welfare states.
Regardless of the contributing factors, the point is that great leaders are incredibly rare and hard to find, whatever their leadership styles are. Yet, the successful management of a company is so heavily dependent on its leaders. Sure, most companies function, some quite effectively in fact. But I've yet to see a company where people are satisfied, proud and truly happy to be there.
But anyway.
Rather than updating about my personal life, I came across the concept of servant leadership, and that is what prompted this post (besides the fact that I'm finally able to take a slight breather tonight).
While I wouldn't say that I have worked in many organizations across different verticals, the turnover in my industry is high enough for me to say that I have seen my fair share of leaders with different management styles.
Some are hierarchical, others quite laissez faire; some very business-like and transactional, others personal and emotional. I have also seen politically-driven leaders, domineering leaders, charismatic leaders and so on. Among these, some are open while others believe in the compartmentalization of information.
But I have never once met a servant leader.
According to Wikipedia, these leaders "achieve results for their organizations by giving priority attention to the needs of their colleagues and those they serve. Servant-leaders are often seen as humble stewards of their organization's resources."
I found out about this concept by chance, after sneaking looks at my brother's computer as he watched Joel Manby of Hershend Family Entertainment on Undercover Boss.
Whether or not this is or should be the ideal type of leadership, is ultimately dependent on the culture and objectives of the company. Of course the judgment is subjective. But quite honestly, I was blown away by what I viewed. I couldn't believe there existed work environments that were so driven by the welfare of its people. (Ok maybe it's all staged, like in other reality TV shows.)
Maybe it's the American culture that fosters such leaders, and I'm saying this because Joel's style is really not that much different from Tony Hsieh of Zappos (whose Delivering Happiness book I read). Maybe Asian work environments are simply more focused on immediate bottomlines. Or perhaps these corporate differences are manifestations of welfare states versus non-welfare states.
Regardless of the contributing factors, the point is that great leaders are incredibly rare and hard to find, whatever their leadership styles are. Yet, the successful management of a company is so heavily dependent on its leaders. Sure, most companies function, some quite effectively in fact. But I've yet to see a company where people are satisfied, proud and truly happy to be there.
May 2, 2011
Weekend Pursuits
Inspired by the best-selling nail colour from Chanel. Mine is from Sephora, which is pretty poor for amateur application. So be warned.
I love the summery colour though!
I love the summery colour though!
April 27, 2011
Wanton Mee Town
The town centre reminded of Singapore in the 60s. There were no shopping malls. Even brand name hyper-marts were nowhere to be found. Single-storied zinc roof houses were still common, while Ramly burgers continued to be sold over little makeshift counters beside the road.
Without the Internet, cable TV and other city luxuries, the pace felt leisurely. We stayed in to watch DVDs with the kids as it rained the entire afternoon. The peace was only occasionally broken by his little 2-year-old nephew.
Surprisingly, I felt quite comfortable.
What struck me, was just how different life was in this little wanton mee town, as compared to our big, shiny city filled with tourists, people and distractions. Amazing how that kampong boy and I became classmates, lab partners, JC sweethearts, exes, and finally a proper couple.
April 18, 2011
The Universe is Bigger Than My Troubles
Nicked this off a friend's post.
Cliched as it seems, seeing such beauty in our world makes me realize there are bigger, greater things out there than my day-to-day troubles.
Make sure you view this in full screen.
Cliched as it seems, seeing such beauty in our world makes me realize there are bigger, greater things out there than my day-to-day troubles.
Make sure you view this in full screen.
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