Ultra sensitive, I hadn't been in the best of emotions to handle such a tumultuous day. One moment I was busy, stressed and angry for plans turned awry, another moment I was overcome by his silence and my loss. I was glad for the people I knew who had moved on to better places in their lives. I was envious of those who enjoyed the simple domestic bliss of husband and adorable kids to go home to. In stark contrast were others with marriage and health problems, whom I was worried for. Despite my mood, I was also ultimately happy to see the familiar faces I had cared about (and still do).
The history moving fast forward is a reality overload.
Notwithstanding the physical exhaustion, I was overwhelmed by the thoughts, tasks, people and emotional ride I had experienced. My brain, feelings, focus and grip on reality shut down several times.
Drained and aching from heartbreak, the concern poured in. My phone beeped incessantly with kind words of encouragement. Yet I couldn't draw myself out of the spiraling downward funk I had dropped into. Then Newly-Wedded Friend jerked me back with a great diversionary SMS.
I only realized then that I'm immeasurably rich. I have people who care so much about my welfare that they keep me in their thoughts. Even if he doesn't. Should I send out an SOS, there are at least seven human pillars of support to save me from drowning.
I just want to thank you.
- Jud for hugging me tightly and telling me I deserve so much more.
- C for telling everyone to watch out for me, and to remember me despite her big night.
- E1 for the words of encouragement, despite not having a single clue why I'm in a wreck.
- E2 for the brute reality, although I know he really cares.
- P for responding promptly, all the time, to my desperate SMSs for help. I'll crash without you.
- J for being around to keep me company, so I don't drive myself crazy with my own thoughts.
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